


Snack Run

by QueenRedhead



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anxious Bruce Banner, Food, Gen, High Thor, Hilde makes a cameo, Humor, No Plot/Plotless, Stoner Loki, Thor and Hilde might be dating idk, Thor is dumb, Tony makes a cameo, bruce is tired, loki is mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 21:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17353043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenRedhead/pseuds/QueenRedhead
Summary: In which Loki and Thor are too high to drive, so they need someone else to take them to the store for snacks.





	Snack Run

**Author's Note:**

> I have... no explanation for this. I hope, at the very least, that it's entertaining!

A small cloud of smoke tumbled from Thor’s lips. “Dude.”

Loki sat next to him on the couch, already reaching to grab the joint from him and take another hit. “What?”

“I’m… so high.”

“Yeah, I know.” Loki filled his lungs before skillfully blowing the smoke out of his nose. “Fun, right?”

“Yeah…” Thor sunk back into the couch, seemingly content to stare at the TV. What made this all the more entertaining was that fact that they had both forgotten to turn it on.

A moment of silence passed between them.

“Hey,” Thor said, suddenly sitting up.

“What?”

“I’m… super hungry. We should get… snacks.”

“Yeah,” Loki agreed. He put a hand on Thor’s shoulder and pushed him back down as he attempted to stand up. “We need a ride. You're too stoned to drive.”

Thor considered this. “Oh… yeah, you're right. I should call someone.”

He fumbled for his phone, taking quite a long time to figure out how to extract it from his jean pocket. Loki, knowing he could more easily pull his own phone out and hand it to him, sat back to watch.

Once he finally managed to pull his phone free, Thor took great care in typing out his passcode. It required all of his concentration to find and tap each number, and by the time he finished he had to ask Loki what he was supposed to be doing.

“Call Hilde and ask her for a ride to the store.”

“Oh, right. Okay.”

They then went through the same process as Thor searched his contacts for Hilde’s number. He eventually found the right one and called it.

“What do you want?” Hilde slurred in greeting.

Thor paused to collect his thoughts. “Hey.”

Hilde snorted. “Are you high?”

“Yeah,” Thor replied, “can you drive us to the store? We need snacks.”

“Sorry, I can't.” She didn't sound very sorry. “I've already been drinking.”

“Aw.”

“Yeah. You'll have to find someone else to chauffeur you around.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“Uh-huh.”

The line disconnected and Thor, upon realizing this, lowered his phone down to his lap.

Loki regarded him with slight interest. “You're already saying the L-word?”

Thor crinkled his eyebrows in confusion. “...Lesbian?”

“Yes, lesbian. I'm guessing she can't drive us?”

“No.”

“Okay, who else can we get?”

Another moment of silence.

Surprisingly and unsurprisingly, Thor was the one to break it. “What about… Banner?”

“Oh, I hate him,” Loki frowned. “Sure.”

This time, Loki grabbed Thor’s phone and found the appropriate contact. He called the number and put the phone on speaker before handing it back.

Bruce picked up after a few rings. “Hello?”

“Hello, Bruce,” Loki said coldly.

“Banner!” Thor exclaimed. The phone was farther from his face, and that, naturally, meant he needed to be louder. “We need some help!”

“Oh, uh, hey guys,” Bruce stammered, “what’s going on?”

Loki cut in before Thor could answer. “We need a ride to the store. Are you available?”

“A ride to the store? Is there something wrong with your car?”

“No.”

“Then why-“

“Banner,” Thor interrupted, “why does your voice… sound like a balloon with no air in it?”

“Why does my…?” Bruce stopped short. “Oh, okay. I get it now. Did Hilde already say no?”

Loki hummed in confirmation.

“Okay. I can head over in about five minutes. Will you guys be ready by then?”

“I’ll make sure of it.”

Loki ended the call and spent the next five minutes convincing Thor to put his jacket on. The rest of their waiting time was spent finishing the joint.

Bruce pulled into the driveway shortly after Loki took the last hit. While he was distracted by throwing away the filter, Thor called shotgun and stumbled out the door to greet his friend.

“Banner!” he cried out. “It’s so good to see you!”

Bruce waved and waited for Thor to open the passenger side door before replying, “Hey Thor, how you feeling?”

Thor climbed into the car and immediately threw most of his weight onto Bruce in a very sloppy hug. “Fucking… awesome.”

Bruce wheezed like a broken squeaky toy, patting Thor’s back a little. “That’s great. Can you not crush me, please?”

Thor let up, but only a little. “Banner.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

As all of that was going on, Loki slid quietly into the back seat. Bruce made eye contact with him in the rear view mirror and decided not to say hello.

Instead, he patted Thor on the back again. “Okay, are you ready to get going?”

Thor nodded and flopped back into his seat. Three minutes later, his seatbelt was properly fastened and they were on their way to the store.

“Banner.”

Bruce kept his eyes focused on the road. “Yeah?”

“Have you ever thought about how... cars and rollercoasters are the same thing?”

“I can’t say I have.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.” Every so often, Bruce glanced in his mirror to see what Loki was doing. Mostly he was scrolling on his phone, but sometimes he was looking out the window. Bruce tried not to squeeze the steering wheel too tightly. “I guess school didn’t teach me everything.”

Thor grinned. “And you have, like, seven… doctor… certificates.”

“Yep,” Bruce said, “seven whole doctor certificates. I have seven doctor certificates, and yet here I am.”

Thor laughed. Loki coughed a little. Bruce flinched.

They pulled into the grocery store parking lot a few minutes later. Bruce found a spot close to the entrance, and all three of them made their way inside.

Thor and Loki immediately went to grab a cart. Bruce barely stopped them by grabbing and tugging on Thor’s wrist. “Hey, hold on.”

Loki shot daggers at him. With his eyes. Thor frowned, looking confused and almost hurt.

Bruce gulped. “It’s just, I don’t think you need a cart. Here.”

He led them over to a stack of baskets and handed one to Thor, who lit up again immediately. Loki looked less pleased, but he didn’t protest, so Bruce let his shoulders relax a little before motioning for Thor to lead the way.

Which, for the record, he did with gusto. Thor marched through the store in his search for proper snackage. When he spotted something he wanted, he grabbed it off the shelf and tossed it into the basket without much thought or care. Loki walked a little behind him, slipping his own snacks in as he found them. Bruce trailed behind both of them, partially to keep an eye on them and partially so he could text Tony and Hilde about the experience.

‘Lol,’ Hilde wrote back.

‘Send pics,’ replied Tony.

Bruce snapped a picture of Thor laboring over which bag of potato chips he wanted. He considered one bag at a time, staring at it intently before moving onto the next. Loki stood in the background picking at his cuticles.

‘Lol,’ Tony wrote back.

They continued on like this until Thor abruptly stopped in the middle of an aisle. Loki, who had been looking at his phone, ran directly into his brother’s back with a muffled grunt. Bruce stopped just short of running into Loki, taking a wise step back as Loki shoved Thor and hissed, “Stupid jackass. What was that for?”

Thor turned around slowly and looked between Loki and Bruce. “I… have to go to the bathroom.”

Loki took the basket from him. “Then go. You don’t need our permission.”

Thor nodded. “Right. I’ll be… back.”

Bruce and Loki watched as he wandered off in the direction of the bathroom. Once he was out of sight, their eyes turned to each other for a very, very brief moment before Bruce cleared his throat and glued his eyes to his phone screen.

They stood in that terribly awkward silence for fifteen minutes.

“Bruce.”

A chill ran up Bruce’s spine. “Uh, yeah?”

Loki glared at him. “I don’t like you.”

Bruce sighed. “Yeah, Loki, I know.”

“You’re a pathetic excuse for a scientist. An absolute coward.”

“Sticks and stones may break my bones.”

“Your father never loved you.”

Bruce snorted. “As if you’re the first one to figure that out.”

Loki stalled, his expression faltering. He pressed his lips into a tight line and narrowed his eyes, looking Bruce up and down. After his assessment, he clicked his tongue in disappointment. “How boring.”

Bruce shrugged, which made Loki scoff, and with the tension somewhat diffused they continued to stand and wait for Thor to return.

Ten minutes later, just as they were starting to lose hope, Thor turned the corner into their aisle. He was carrying another basket that was also filled with snacks, although they were different than the snacks in the original basket.

Thor stopped when he noticed the two of them standing there. “Oh, hey.”

“Hey,” Bruce said, his brows furrowed. “Did you go to the bathroom?”

Thor stared at him blankly before exclaiming, “Oh, the bathroom! I couldn’t find it, and then I forgot I had to go, so… no.”

“Uh-huh.”

Loki thrust the old basket into Thor’s free hand. “You can wait until we get home, then. Go on.”

They made their way to one of the checkout stations and rang up their purchases. Loki paid the hefty sum while Thor wasn’t looking, and before too long they were in the car on their way home

Once there, Bruce watched to make sure they got inside safely with their snacks. Loki didn't thank him or say goodbye at all, but Thor made up for it several times over by waving and shouting his gratitude from the door. Bruce waved back with a small smile as they disappeared inside.

Just as he was about to pull out of their driveway, Thor stuck his head back out and yelled, “Banner!”

Bruce rolled down his window. “What?”

“Come watch a movie with us!”

Bruce blinked. “A movie?”

“Yeah!” Thor grinned. “And eat snacks. We bought too many.”

Bruce weighed his options. It was either watch a movie with them, or head back to his empty apartment and read by himself.

He killed the engine and hopped out of the car. “You know what? Sure. That sounds great.”

Thor threw an arm around him once he got close enough and ushered him inside. “Loki even has more weed, if you want!”

Bruce smiled sheepishly. “Oh, no thanks. You wouldn’t like me when I’m high. Green, uh… isn’t a good color on me.”

“More for us, then!” Thor cheered. He plopped down next to Loki on the couch and patted the free space to his left for Bruce to sit.

When he did, Loki glanced at him briefly. “Bruce.”

Bruce glanced at him in return. “Loki.”

A smirk, almost a smile, stretched across Loki’s face. He reached for the remote and turned on the TV before passing it to Thor. “Let him pick something.”

Thor passed the remote to Bruce, who seemed surprised, but pleasantly so. After looking to both of them to ensure it was really okay, he raised the remote and changed the channel with a decisive _click._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you want to watch me cope with stress by cracking jokes (or you want info about requests), you can follow me on Twitter: [Queen_Redhead](https://twitter.com/Queen_Redhead)
> 
> Or, if you have any questions about me or what I do (especially if you want to remain anonymous), here's my Curious Cat: [Queen_Redhead](https://curiouscat.me/Queen_Redhead)


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